Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
