he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
