She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is Oprah even human
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
