Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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