I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
