Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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