Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
