We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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