I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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