I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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