i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
