I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
