i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
