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she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Randomize
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