ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
