hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
