I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
