very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize