Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
