I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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