You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
