i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just forgot I was standing up.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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