i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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