I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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