well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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