I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What drink are we having for lunch?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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