Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
