Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
