Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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