problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
