drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
