the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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