I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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