This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize