I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
