I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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