SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize