woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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