i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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