The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
