i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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