I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
