whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
