We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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