I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
