I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
