if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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