I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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