I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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