I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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