Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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