Where did you get a picture of my penis
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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