i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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