but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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