lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
