Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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