I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
