Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
