So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
