I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
