My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
