I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize