She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
