and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
