I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
