He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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